Amanda slowly walked up the stairs to her dorm room. As she took each step, she replayed everything that had happened earlier, trying that had happened earlier, trying to piece together exactly what was going on between him and Hudson. From the moment she felt the brush of his chest against her back, to the moment his warm lips kissed her forehead. Could it be real? Could he actually have real feelings for her and not be toying with her mind?
Quietly, she walked into her room trying hard not to wake up Tabitha if she was sleeping, but once she entered the room, she found it to be empty.
She wondered where Tabitha was as flipped on the light and closed the door behind her.
She kicked off her shoes and started pulling off the sweatshirt that Hudson had offered her since she was cold. She was completely thrown by the gesture when he thrust the sweatshirt in her direction, telling her to put it on. She looked at the sweatshirt for a moment as she hugged it against herself, lowering her head and taking another whiff of his scent that still lingering on the piece of clothing.
She tossed it onto the bed. No, this isn’t right, she thought to herself. She started to change out of her clothes and into a pair of pajamas as she shook her head. How could she forgive him so easily after everything he put her through the last four years? How does a little kindness and tenderness suppose to wash away his verbal and emotional abuse? It was still hard for her to look at herself in the mirror and not see the skinny, shy awkward girl that he taunted. Those scars had yet to fully heal. And what was up with him kissing her scar? Was he trying to kiss the pain away? What?
She looked at herself in the full-length mirror as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She continued to look at herself, tilted her head to look at the scar, and then placed her hand over it to see if she could still feel the heat that his kiss had left. There was nothing. Amanda let out a sigh as she turned from the mirror and walked across the room to her bed. She wasn’t tired at the moment. No, her head was still compartmentalizing everything and refused to rest.
What if she did decide to forgive him? Why should she hold onto the anger of the past? She was trying to move past it, wasn’t she? She had left little shy Mandi whom everyone had called back in that small town and come back in that small town and came here to college as Amanda. She remembered when Hudson tried to call her by that old nickname, and she put him in his place quickly.
She smiled.
She looked over at the sweatshirt that she had tossed at the end of her bed and leaned over to pull it over to her. Even though it was just a piece of clothing, it was amazing how much power it held. It meant so many things. She slide her arms through the sleeves and just sat there contemplating whether or not she should put it on and sleep with it or just leave it at the end of the bed and be done with it.
Amanda was surprised by the smell she recognized on her roommate’s side of the room. It smelled like Hudson. Before she could think twice, she quickly sent a mind link to a certain someone before pasting a smile on her face when her roommate looked up at her as she entered the room.
“Hey girl, how you doin’?” Tabitha asked nonchalantly.
“Thank god you’re home, Tabitha. I had the weirdest night, and I really need to talk to someone about it,” Amanda told her.
Tabitha walked over and was about to sit on the bed next to Amanda when she noticed the sweatshirt that was laying in Amanda’s lap with her arms inside it. She recognized it as Hudson’s. What did that boy do now?
Tabitha turned quickly and moved to her side of the room and lay on her bed.
“Alright, I’m all ears.”
Amanda pulled her arms out of the sweatshirt and tossed it aside. She knew she would not be able to think clearly or get her thoughts out right if she continued to have his stuff near her.
“Kimmy invited me to a party tonight at one of the frat houses.”
“Okay.”
“The guy from our history class, that cute one,” Amanda paused, waiting to see the recognition on Tabitha’s face. When Tabitha nodded, she continued.
“He was there tonight and over to talk to me. His name is Calvin, and he’s really nice.”
“That’s cool. Did he ask you out or for your phone number?”
Amanda nodded. “He was right in the middle of asking me, and then I felt a hand on my hip and a chest against my back and someone say to Calvin, ‘sorry this one’s not available.”
Tabitha’s eyes widened.
Amanda let out a sigh.
“Then I grabbed his hand and threw it behind me and tried to elbow him in the stomach, but I missed and then tried to tell Calvin that Hudson didn’t know what he was talking about and that I wasn’t seeing anyone.”
Tabitha had a sympathetic smile on her face before asking, “So what did Calvin say?”
“He just smiled at me and told me he would see me in class and then walked away.”
Tabitha nodded and then with a hand gesture urged Amanda to continue.
“So, then I turned to Hudson asking him why he would do that, and basically, he told me that he didn’t want to see me with anyone else. I asked him why and then he told me because I was his.”
HE DID WHAT??
Tabitha couldn’t believe that he had actually told Amanda that.
“What did you say back?”
Amanda giggled.
“I walked up to him and slapped him across the face.” she covered her mouth because it had finally sunk in what she had done to Hudson.
“No, you didn’t.”
Amanda nodded. “I then told him that I was not his, or would I ever be his.”
Tabitha shook her head. Well, it wasn’t a rejection per se, but she was sure that probably hit Hudson pretty hard.
“And then?”
“I realized we had gained an audience, and I had made a fool of myself and walked out of the party, but I walked out it my head held high.”
“Wow, look at you. Miss badass.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t so badass when I had this weird feeling that something was chasing me, and I started running, and then, of course, I ran into Hudson again.”
Tabitha was glad to hear that Hudson, even though his ego was hurting, still went to make sure that his mate got home safely.
“Was there anything there?”
Amanda shook her head.
“No, Hudson said there was nothing there and then asked if he could walk me back to the dorm; he then offered me his sweatshirt since I was cold and also apologized to me for the scar that he gave me when we were in high school.”
“He what?”
Amanda nodded.
“When we got to my dorm, we just stood there for a moment, and then he kissed me on the forehead and wished me goodnight. Right now, I have no clue how to feel about anything.”